Sunday, January 2, 2011

It's gonna be a happy new year...

I have a hard time making New Year's resolutions.  Actually, what I have a hard time with is introspection and long term goals.  For so many years now, I've lived in the moment and the near-moments because of the kids.  I can't think about my five-year plan because I've barely been getting enough sleep to coherently do the laundry and grocery shopping each week.  Plus, if I think too much about long term goals I start to realize that at nearly 39 years old (just 8 more shopping days, by the way) I don't know what I want to be when I grow up. 

It isn't so much that I don't know what I'd like, it's more of a matter of what I'm willing to do to get there.  I used to want to be an attorney, but somewhere along the line I decided I just didn't want to work that hard and have a family.  When I was pregnant with my first I had just started a new job that I didn't love, but I did think that it could lead me places I would love so I struggled with whether or not I wanted to be an at-home mom or a working mom.  What really solidified my decision to stay home was September 11, 2001.  I just decided that life is too short and too unpredictable, that I really should spend my time doing something really important to me rather than something that "could" be important.

I don't regret it at all (well, sometimes when I'm knee deep in poop and puke I might waiver a bit), but I also know that this is not a permanent state of being and in five years all of my little ones will be in school so I'll have a bit more flexibility.  I guess what I'm saying is, my resolution for this year is to work on deciding whether or not I want to overcome my fear of five-year plans and if I decide that I can overcome that hurdle, maybe I'll think about putting a five-year plan into action --- next year.

Here's wishing you a happy and productive 2011, if that's something you're in to.


  1. Hello Wendi

    Glad to have discovered your blog. I am also a new blogger - started in July 2010. I have totally enjoyed peeking into the blogging life of some and following others. I like your writing style and your topics. It isn't the big events in life that form us, it is the smaller ones.

    I look forwarding to checking out your future posts.

    Retired Knitter
    Elaine (a Howard County local)

  2. Thanks Elaine, that is really high praise! I'll check out your blog, too! I'm not a knitter - but I do crochet. My grandmother taught me to knit when she taught me to crochet, but only one of them stuck.

  3. What?! You didn't love the job when you were pregnant with Lorelei?! ;) I know exactly how you feel!