Monday, January 31, 2011

Is there a doctor in the house?

The cold that I got a month ago has been lingering forever and I started feeling like maybe I had a sinus infection a few days ago.  A lot of pressure in one cheek with a headache would start happening around 3:30 in the afternoon (not before) and it would go away with ibuprofen, so I let that happen for a couple of days.  It was not enough to be noticeable during the weekend of stomach bug but this morning the cheek pressure started up again so I gave in and decided to see a doctor.  I very much dislike going to the doctor.  I have to be on death's door to make it happen.

Of course, when I called there were no appointments this week so the nice lady said that she would have the doctor call me back.  She took down all my symptoms and info, including my pharmacy name and number.  Since I hate going to the doctor so very much this sounded sort of promising - maybe they would just call in a prescription!  Whoo hoo! 

When the phone rang again, though, it was the same lady - not as nice this time.  Sort of condescending and sounding a little like she thought I was some sort of deviant.  She figured out that I haven't been to see my primary care physician in over four years.  I can't decide if I should be embarrassed to tell you that.  It's not like I haven't been under medical care - I saw my OB about five million times in the course of those years.  But since I haven't been in so long, they now consider me a new patient and the next available appointment for a new patient is February 16.  FEBRUARY 16.  So I made an appointment for a physical on February 16. 

She didn't offer any solutions for my current problem and seemed sort of indignant that I could possibly need medical attention sort of sooner than sixteen days.  So, I went out and bought a neti pot.  I've wanted to try it for a long time, but just never got around to getting one.  Everybody I know who uses one always says it changed their lives, they love it and swear by the results.

Well, I've used it once.  It was interesting.  Not as scary as I thought it would be.  It hasn't changed my life yet, but maybe after a few more uses I'll feel like a different person.  I know, I may be too far gone at this point if I really do have a sinus infection, so if the pressure doesn't let up in a day or two I guess I'll drag myself to a walk-in clinic.  I just love the thought of doing that with the little girls in tow.  Ug.  Another reason to miss living in San Diego - if we were there I could just go to TJ and get some Mexican antibiotics.

Sunday, January 30, 2011

It was a total barforama

Well, we kicked off our weekend at 4am on Saturday with a stomach bug that hit both adults in the house.  Zoey succumbed later in the morning while Violet stayed her chipper self and Lorelei ran for the hills to a friend's house.  Greg and I took turns being semi-conscious and watching over the children all day Saturday.  Times like these I wish I lived in the same state as my mom or my sister. 

It was a fast-moving bug - Zoey was totally recovered after her nap and thankfully by evening Greg felt well enough to eat some crackers and stomach making food for the little girls.  It took me until about mid-morning today to feel mostly normal. 

Lorelei was invited to sleep over at her friend's house last night.  I was grateful, but it turned out to be not so great when she threw up in her sleep at 2:30am.  I had turned off the phone upstairs a few days ago because it was waking Zoey up during her nap and I never turned it back on, so they called and called and called and finally just had to bring her home and bang on our door until we woke up. 

Poor thing, Lorelei is a terrible sickie.  She takes it as a personal affront, a great injustice - she's so indignant about the whole thing.  So, she's been laid out all day and I'm going to probably keep her home from school tomorrow.  She'll throw a giant fit because she hates missing school.

In unrelated news, we've been talking about our big girl bed options for Zoey and haven't been able to agree on what to get.  We have to come up with something very soon since she's climbed out of the crib at 4am two nights in a row.  At least she comes to our bedroom and isn't wandering the house.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

I gotta get outta this place!

I have been in severe denial for the last six years (since we moved here from Sunny SoCal) about the wardrobe needs for living in a state with winter.  I don't own my own snow boots.  You'd think I would've learned my lesson after last year, but no.  Greg had boots, so I'd just borrow his when I needed to - or I just stayed inside, whatever.  He bought new boots for this winter and I just planned on continuing to borrow them.

Except today he wore them to work.  AAAAAARRRRGGHHHHHH.  How dare he wear "my" boots to work?!  I could just wear the old boots, but the sole of one of them is barely hanging on by a thread.  Do you think LL Bean at the Mall in Columbia makes deliveries?

I really want to head down to The Little French Market for the snowball fight & snowman contest.  That's where my oldest is since she spent the night at Nathan's house.  But the lack of boots isn't the only thing holding me back.  Our parking lot hasn't been plowed yet.  Usually they are right on top of that, but when the plow arrived at o'dark thirty there were cars parked willy-nilly all over the place so it couldn't even get in.  Greg and some neighbors dug a path out so he was able to go to work, but he didn't bother with my van that was parked across the lot from his car. 

I could shovel it myself - but then the little girls would be free to roam about the house on their own and nothing good ever comes of that.

Alright, I guess I have to move on to step one:  Get out of pajamas.


Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Snowball fight at LFM

Just a little plug for my friends at the Little French Market...

It's the First-of-its-kind, Historic Ellicott City, Friends & Family SNOWBALL FIGHT!!!

The Weatherman says there will be 5-8 inches of Snow on the Ground in the morning and you know that will have absolutely nothing to do! What better chance to be a kid again!

...The Time?? HIGH NOON TOMORROW- Thursday, January 27, 2011 ! Bring your hats, gloves, your best humor and all of your friends and family! Oh, you might want to bring some money, too, 'cause we have hot drinks including great Coffee and Espresso, creamy Chai Tea and rich Hot Chocolate, Savory Soup and delicious Pastries and French Country Bread! Perfect for the after-fight celebration! The Place?? The Little French Market Courtyard Off of the Large Public Parking Lot in Town Behind the Old Stone Post Office on Main Street

3744 Old Columbia Pike - Rear
Ellicott City, Maryland 21043

Don't want to get in the middle of it all?? Hang out for our SNOWMAN CONTEST at1pm! The best, most unique or creative SNOWMAN will Win a $20 Little French Market Gift Card!!

My girl is amazing

The snow day hasn't been so bad.  Made a giant pot of sauce for a baked pasta that we're eating for dinner; baked sugar cookies with the oldest and middle girls.  And then friends came over to play and saved me from having to make icing and get out the sprinkles for decorations - so no giant mess to clean up and no sprinkles from here to there for weeks on end. 

The oldest even went home with the friends since we're assuming there will be no school tomorrow.  They were supposed to stay for dinner, but decided it would be prudent to leave early.  Poor Violet cried and cried, so to console her I pulled out a little Glee.

Let me back up for a minute.  I've become a big fan of Glee - even have two of the soundtrack albums.  One of them lives in our car and thanks to Violet's new found love of Glee music we really only listen to one song - "the Amazing song again, Mommy!" 

When she was crying and crying I remembered that the Glee repeat on our DVR from Tuesday was the one with this song, so I cued it up.  She was totally delighted and made me dance with her.  We had to watch it a few times before we could move on to something else.  So, I guess that's going to be a permanent fixture on the DVR, along with "Monsters vs. Pumpkins" (Monsters vs. Aliens Halloween special), the Elves Show (Disney's Prep & Landing) and Alvin & the Chipmunks.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Winter woes

I've been feeling guilty because I remember doing many fun and educational things with my oldest when she was preschool, but I really don't do as much with the two littlest.  I rationalize that it's harder doing some of those things with the littlest one in tow.  And it is, but should that stop me? 

I also hate going out into the world in the winter.  With all the coats and hats and mittens on top of all the other things that we always have (diaper bag, stuffed animals, snacks, cups, etc) it's a pain.  It's cold and often messy with the kids stomping in snow and slush and mud.  Times like these I really really really miss living in San Diego where you can go to Balboa Park any time of year and see the zoo, museums, the merry-go-round or just swing on the swings. 

So, to get over the funk I'm making plans to go to the Aquarium in Baltimore on Friday.  Hopefully by then whatever weather event that's brewing will be gone and we won't have too much of a mess to contend with.

Friday, January 21, 2011

Can I Have a Hallelujah!

It's nap time - whoo hoo!  At least it's nap time for the littlest of our clan, who today has done her best to make the biggest impression.  This morning while I was drinking my coffee I thought that Zoey was with Violet playing in their room.  I was so very wrong.  She was actually hiding out in my closet where she discovered that she's now tall enough to pull my sewing box off its shelf.

Greg discovered her after his shower - thread unraveled, pins and needles and other supplies everywhere.  Argh.  So I cleaned it all up and we went about our morning.  But I made a couple of very grave errors, I put the box back on the same shelf and I decided to take a shower myself.  This is what happened:

Sewing box dumped.
Bath toys dumped.
Potty seat repositioned.

Not a Pirate's Life for Me.

Last night while I was making dinner, Violet was playing Pirate.  She informed me that I was the "Cooking Pirate", Zoey was the "Little Pirate" and Lorelei was the "Bean Bag Pirate".  Easy enough - I could play along by doing what I was doing. 

A few minutes later she came into the kitchen clutching Mickey Mouse to her chest and told me that somebody (I missed hearing exactly who) was trying to steal her baby.  Since we were playing Pirate, I say in my best pirate voice, "Aye, I'll have a talk with the lad."  And then I gesture grandly and say loudly, "Ye be leavin' the baby alone.  No stealin' the babe!"  She looked at me like I was absolutely insane.  Apparently we weren't playing Pirate anymore.  But I asked, "Did that make you feel better?"  Very pertly she replied, "Sure!" and went about her merry way. 

Oh the fun we have!

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Hormones run amok?

Can somebody please tell me what is wrong with middle school aged boys?  Some of them must be okay because I have friends with middle school aged boys and they seem normal. 

Yesterday I was out on my deck when I observed 4 or 5 middle school boys hassling a middle school girl out in her back yard.  It was nothing serious - they were basically just trying to hang out with her because she's cute and she was trying to get rid of them because, you know, they're dorky middle school boys. 

As they were shuffling out of her yard one of them noticed me.  He gave a goofy wave and yelled "Hi!"  I waved back and went about my business, but he waved and yelled "hi" again.  Then called out, "Hey do you have any kids?"  Yes.  "What school does he or she go to?"  One of the boys knew me and told his buddies that I am Lorelei's mom.  Lorelei who is in elementary school.  Not interesting, so they walked away. 

When I was in middle school I remember the boys being goofy and awkward, but I also remember them being at least semi-polite to adults.  I don't know all of these boys names, but I recognize them from our neighborhood playground - where I've also had to repeatedly ask them not to say f@#k in front of my 1 and 3 year old girls.  The last thing I need is to have that flying out of their mouths when we visit the ladies at the retirement home.  I don't really care that the boys curse, I don't really care if my own kids curse when they're that age - I just hope they have the sense to do it out of the earshot of a parent. 

So again, what is wrong with these boys?

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Happily Married with Children...

Thanks to Sarah Says for pointing me to this Tara Parker-Pope article "The Happy Marriage is the 'Me' Marriage" in the NY Times.

The article talks about how having your own personal growth enhances your relationship because you in turn are helping the other person with their own "self-expansion" or personal growth.  This has been the case with my own marriage, we have many common interests but since Greg is a science dork we come at them from different perspectives which makes things more interesting.  We also have differing interests that don't always enhance the other (like my cross stitch or his collection of rocks and fossils) but more often they do - I remember Greg once saying something to the effect of "we always have more interesting conversations when you're reading books that excite you."  That sounds sort of condescending, I know - I'll get to the reason why it isn't in a bit.

There is no mention the role of children in a happy marriage, but I did find this old Newsweek article that asks "Does Having Kids Make You Happy?".  I first read this a few weeks ago and started a post about it, but got distracted.  It made me laugh and then cry.  
In Daniel Gilbert's 2006 book "Stumbling on Happiness," the Harvard professor of psychology looks at several studies and concludes that marital satisfaction decreases dramatically after the birth of the first child—and increases only when the last child has left home. 
I had sort of put it out of my head until I tried to do the Sustainable Marriage Quiz. It was just too damn hard.  My results would have shown that at best we had a "moderately exciting" relationship but more likely that we had a "low connection".  Why was it so hard?  Because we don't do anything interesting right now, unless you count the Maryland Science Center or Port Discovery.  They may actually be moderately interesting things to do, except that it's stressful with 3 kids of such differing ages and there's always some sort of crisis or meltdown. 

We have been trying to do more things individually - Greg is going to train to be a stream wader and I am the treasurer of the PTA, which gives me some brain stimulation and it gets me out interacting with other adults.  But that isn't much in the interesting category.  And this is what Greg was talking about when he said that our conversations are more interesting when I'm reading something that excites me - because having small kids really impedes our ability to get out in the world to do interesting things, so until they are a little older and less needy we're left to what we can read.
I am a lucky woman because my husband's attitude is marriage first, kids second.  But in reality that is not always practical.  I think that we have a sustainable marriage and I love my children - but I guess they never said it would be easy.

Monday, January 17, 2011

Party all night, stay awake all day

Why oh why oh why do I keep letting that kid go to sleepovers?  Greg and I were talking last night at dinner about how much easier (not easy, just easier) it is to manage two kids versus three because Lorelei was spending the night with a friend.  Never should have said anything because karma (as always) came back to bite me in the ass. 

Pretty much every time she goes to a sleepover, the next day always ends in a giant fight and Lorelei ends up being sent to bed very early.  Tonight she picked endless fights with Violet over nothing, she refused to eat her mac'n cheese because I gave her icky whole grain pasta and no matter how calm we try to stay in the face of her irritability, she is never satisfied until Greg and I have both completely lost it and have to punish her.  So, she was sent to bed at 7:00pm. 

She just cannot handle all the fun and staying up late, it always sends her over the edge.  She so needs her beauty sleep.  Since birth she has been an early riser, when she was a toddler her wake up time was 4:30am.  We alternated who had to get up with her so we could take turns being a zombie for the day. 

Once she knew how to read numbers we put a digital clock in her room and told her she could not wake us up until it said SIX OH OH.  There was one glorious morning when she actually slept in until a few minutes after 6:00am, so she missed seeing the SIX OH OH - that was the first morning since her birth that we woke up on our own with no kid-alarm going off!

Now she generally sleeps until 6:30 or 7:00am, but alas, we have two others to make sure somebody is up by 6:00am.  Thankfully Greg decided a few years ago that I was a much nicer wife and mother if he got up with the super early girls and let me get a bit more sleep.  I think he's a keeper.

PS - next weekend should be just as fun, Lorelei has a birthday party sleepover on the schedule.

Friday, January 14, 2011

Do I have style?

The Family Almanac column in yesterday's Post had a question about how not to be a helicopter parent.  Generally I read this column for the same reason I read Carolyn Hax, Ask Amy or even Miss Manners - I like to read about other people's train wreck lives to make me feel better about my own train wreck, not really because I'm looking for advice.  But there was a little piece of this column that got me thinking about my own "parenting style" (I use this term loosely since I'm really just doing this by the seat of my pants and hoping it looks stylish).

Marguerite Kelly talked about how modern appliances really freed up a woman's time so she's more able to focus on her kids.
Although a lot of the housework disappeared - hallelujah! - so did the benign neglect that children had always enjoyed.
Even though children seem to be programmed from dawn to bedtime these days, they actually need to be ignored and unnoticed - or to think that they're ignored and unnoticed - for a little while each day. This gives them the privacy they need to imagine, to invent, to think their way out of a problem.
I'm not sure why, but I'd never looked at it exactly this way.  It makes sense, but I don't think it really applies to me.  My kids are plenty ignored.  I do spend time reading to them, we play games sometimes or do puzzles or play with dolls but a lot of the time they play with each other or on their own.  I'm also that mom at the park that makes other mothers nervous because I let my 20-month-old run rampant and climb whatever she wants with little or no help.  I stand nearby, but I have competent monkeys for children, so I let them climb.

I am involved in my oldest's elementary school PTA, but I haven't volunteered in her classroom since kindergarten (they frown on bringing two additional small children to distract everyone from the work they should be doing).

My biggest downfall as a parent is that I probably let them have too much screen time.  Violet is a Spongebob addict and Lorelei is a "Math First" addict (this is a website where the kids generate points for the math games they win and the school also uses it; I'm a little embarrassed at how often she comes home and tells me that she was the class winner for number of points). 

Wow, with all this (mostly) benign neglect, you'd really think my house would be cleaner.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Happy Birthday to me

Yesterday I turned 39.  I'm trying to decide if I feel any different.  Nope.  Although, I was already feeling kind of old.  I think it's because of winter and a cold that just won't quit, though.  I hate winter.  I hate snow.  When I was a kid I loved snow.  We didn't have as much in NC as we seem to here, but it was fun when we did. 

The year I turned 16 we had a massive snow storm (it was no Snowmagedon or Snowpocalyspe, but still massive by NC standards).  I think we were out of school for nearly a week.  A group of parents dragged a metal trashcan out to the middle of the road at the bottom of the our street and built a fire so they could stand around in relative comfort while the kids marched up the hill and came sledding right back down.  It was AWESOME.  Even more awesome was the teenage night sledding that went on. 

For my birthday my best friend gathered up a group of neighborhood kids (mostly boys - it may be my selective memory, but I actually can't think of any other girls besides the two of us, but there must have been) and we drove around to all the best hills.  My mother would be horrified to hear this, good thing she doesn't read my blog.  My dad had given us the express instructions to definitely not get in anybody's car and drive anywhere in those road conditions.  But man, it was fun.   

It was a great birthday - even though I had to wait a few extra days for the roads to thaw before I could take the driving test for my driver's license. 

Usually I love my birthday, but yesterday wasn't the best day ever; I spent much of it in the cold waiting on the furnace repair guy.  And I didn't do anything remotely irresponsible, unless you count eating a thick slice of the Raspberry-Laced Vanilla Cake made with lots of real butter. 

Next year I think there has to be some sort of party.  I want to go back to loving my birthday. 

Monday, January 10, 2011

Can Girl Power save the day?

Over the summer while we were at the beach with my sister and her family, Violet came up with her superhero alter-ego, I think to defend herself from the evil advances of her cousin, Jayden.  She is GIRL POWER.  Not only is that her power, but that is her name.  And notice her "cate" - you mean "cape"?  "No, Mom, CATE!"

Yesterday she was fighting the evil Daddy-Pirate-Robot with her little sister who she has now dubbed, TERRIFIED ZOEY.  I'm pretty sure she means "terrifying", but once she's made up her mind about something you can very rarely get her to change it. 

This morning when it was time to get ready to leave for school, Violet started crying again.  I tried all angles today - loved on her, ignored it, bribed her with candy (she said no), reasoned with her, asked why she didn't want to go.  You might wonder why that last one wasn't the first thing I did - but some of you probably already know that any three year old probably isn't going to be able to give a coherent answer anyway.  And when that three year old is a girl there is an even more tangled web to navigate (of course, I only have girls, so I don't really know what boys are like - they just seem more straight-forward from my vantage point). 

Her answer was that one of the boys in class was a monster when they played outside.  My advice was probably not the best, but I told her she should whip out her GIRL POWER.  I wasn't trying to incite violence, I was just hoping that would make her feel more in control of the situation.  She showed no interest whatsoever in my advice. 

So I left her at school crying the heartbreaking cry no mother wants to hear, "But Mommy, I want yoooooooouuuu!"  At this point I was really super close to just calling it quits on preschool.  It just doesn't seem worth it to go through this twice a week every week.  I don't know if she threw up today because I left quickly - but she threw up both days last week (and also peed one of the days). 

When I picked her up she seemed less than her usual self - she didn't have much to say about school, but when I asked her teachers how it went they said she was fine.  She spent about 10 minutes on her own but then joined the group and participated the rest of the day.  I just don't know.  She's taking a nap now - which is unusual - and we have a wicked cold that we're sharing around so I know she's not feeling tip top.  If she's crying on Wednesday morning we may just have to take a vacation day from preschool.

Friday, January 7, 2011

Take action now!

Maryland recently passed a law that you can only use your cell phone while driving if you have a hands free device.  It's a second tier sort of offense - you can't be stopped for doing it, you can only be ticketed if you're breaking the law in some other way also.  This is an important safety measure for drivers, but I think there is a greater menace to our safety on the roads:


Think about it - have you ever seen the woman driving the car in front of you suddenly disappear for a few seconds before bobbing back up into place?  Have you seen some pyscho swerving the mini-van all over the road?  It's because her kid just dropped her Bouncin' Babbles on the floor and won't stop screaming about it.  Or maybe it's because everybody's clamoring for a snack that has to be handed back.  Or their sister won't stop touching them so Mom has to reach back with a karate chop to separate them.  Or the damn Red Robin balloon won't stop attaching itself to the back of Mom's head.

Measures need to be taken.  Since it isn't really practical to ban children from cars, I think mini-vans and other family-oriented cars should come standard with soundproof plexi-glass between the front and back seats.  Better yet - it should be something opaque with maybe a small window so you can use the rear view mirror, but not enough of a view that you have to see all the madness going on back there. 

Call your congress representative today - get something done about this now!

Chick-fil-a Update

Chick-fil-a responded to the flurry of Facebook posts yesterday with the following:

"To our Facebook community: First and foremost, thanks for your patience as we made sure we gathered the facts in regards to recent postings. We have determined that one of our independent Restaurant Operators in Pennsylvania was asked to provide sandwiches to two Art of Marriage video seminars. As our fans, you know we do our best to serve our local communities, and one of the ways we do that is by providing food to schools, colleges, civic groups, businesses, places of worship, not-for-profit groups, etc. At his discretion, the local Operator agreed to simply provide a limited amount of food. Our Chick-fil-A Operators and their employees try very hard every day to go the extra mile in serving ALL of our customers with honor, dignity and respect."

I guess it makes me feel somewhat better.  But in the interest of good health, I probably still need to curtail my chicken sandwich intake.  

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Need help from other blogspot users

Is there a way to get all comments automatically emailed to me?  Sometimes I don't notice right away that someone has commented on one of my posts.  I know I can subscribe to the comments by email for individual posts but I want to just have all of them automatically emailed to me. 

Thanks for any advice!

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

I'll gladly pay you on Tuesday for a chicken sandwich today.

I am not really a lover of fast food, except Chick-fil-a.  When we lived in Florida and San Diego there was no Chick-fil-a any where near us so every time I visited my family in North Carolina I would gorge on it.  The first month or so after we moved to Maryland I probably ate it twice a week until it made me sick.  Even now I'm kind of a junkie - it's only Wednesday and I've already been twice this week (it was the premier of the spicy chicken biscuit).  Sad sad sad, I know. 

Plus, they have a great indoor play structure for bad weather days and my kids love it.  

Now they go and do something like support an antigay group in Pennsylvania.  I didn't eat at Cracker Barrel for years because of their poor hiring practices (and I still don't - although I'll admit to going once about 2 years ago).  There are other places that I've boycotted for similar reasons - and for the most part my friends and family think I'm a crackpot about it. 

So now what do I do - boycott Chick-fil-a completely?  I might have to join a 12-step program.  Argh.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Some things are not for me to understand.

When I picked Violet up from school yesterday she told me, "I had a great day, Mom!"  Today while we were out running errands she asked what she was doing tomorrow (this is a constant question lately, fearing that we will spring ballet on her again).  I told her she had school tomorrow, "Oh great - I love school!"

I have no idea what goes on in that little head. 

I'm wiped today - with 3 out of 5 of us having this cold, I'm getting no sleep.  Hoping we'll be cough-free soon.

Monday, January 3, 2011

It's gonna be a happy new year...part 2

On our drive back from visiting family in NC last Wednesday Violet started complaining about not wanting to go to school.  Five full days before she would actually have to go to school and she only goes two days a week for 4 hours a day.  She's never had a problem with it before.  As a matter of fact I'd get the daily report on who cried when their Mommy left. 

Once she asked me if she should be crying because so many kids were those first couple of weeks.  I asked her if she thought she should, when she said no I replied, "It's because you know Mommy is coming back, right?"  Nope, it was because she didn't miss me. 

So, why, after all this time, is she making such a big deal about it?  The last day before the break she cried and cried (I warned her teachers about the crying = barfing equation) and I left her struggling in her teachers arms.  This morning was much worse.

She cried at home, in the car, and when we got there.  She started coughing and the assistant teacher grabbed a trash can just in case.  I saw she had things under control so I headed down the hallway with Zoey crying because she didn't want to leave.  I'd taken maybe two steps when I the teacher said, "Oh, wait, uh, she's urinating."  I went back in to the classroom to find the poor assistant teacher grabbing for paper towels with Violet standing not just in a pool of pee, but also a puddle of barf. 

Welcome back to reality.

Sunday, January 2, 2011

It's gonna be a happy new year...

I have a hard time making New Year's resolutions.  Actually, what I have a hard time with is introspection and long term goals.  For so many years now, I've lived in the moment and the near-moments because of the kids.  I can't think about my five-year plan because I've barely been getting enough sleep to coherently do the laundry and grocery shopping each week.  Plus, if I think too much about long term goals I start to realize that at nearly 39 years old (just 8 more shopping days, by the way) I don't know what I want to be when I grow up. 

It isn't so much that I don't know what I'd like, it's more of a matter of what I'm willing to do to get there.  I used to want to be an attorney, but somewhere along the line I decided I just didn't want to work that hard and have a family.  When I was pregnant with my first I had just started a new job that I didn't love, but I did think that it could lead me places I would love so I struggled with whether or not I wanted to be an at-home mom or a working mom.  What really solidified my decision to stay home was September 11, 2001.  I just decided that life is too short and too unpredictable, that I really should spend my time doing something really important to me rather than something that "could" be important.

I don't regret it at all (well, sometimes when I'm knee deep in poop and puke I might waiver a bit), but I also know that this is not a permanent state of being and in five years all of my little ones will be in school so I'll have a bit more flexibility.  I guess what I'm saying is, my resolution for this year is to work on deciding whether or not I want to overcome my fear of five-year plans and if I decide that I can overcome that hurdle, maybe I'll think about putting a five-year plan into action --- next year.

Here's wishing you a happy and productive 2011, if that's something you're in to.