Thursday, December 9, 2010

Roses are red, Violets are pukey

I spent about half of my leisure hours (the 2 hours after the kids are in bed before I collapse) last night cleaning barf out of a toddler bed and the carpet.  As always, it was just lovely.  Violet has always had a hair trigger gag reflex - a cold with coughing leads to barfing; water going down the wrong way leads to coughing then barfing; extended crying leads to coughing, then barfing.  I've seen more barf than any one person should have to bear.  If you think about it, though - it's the perfect defense.  We tell her no about anything, she cries, she barfs.  She is conditioning us to avoid any sort of confrontation with her. 

Last night's barf wasn't a behavioral thing - just an old fashioned cold with cough. 

Thursday is ballet day, but last week Violet threw a fit and didn't want to go.  I bribed her with a trip to Touche Touchet afterward which worked well enough to get her to the studio, but not enough to actually go in.  "We're not going to the bakery if you don't dance."  "I don't care - I don't want to go to the bakery."  Damn!  I wanted a cupcake.

By Tuesday afternoon this week she was already campaigning against going to dance today.  Husband and I discussed it and decided I would force her to go in the hopes that once she was there and dancing she would remember how much she liked it.  Somehow, she went along with it (after some crying and a few gagging scares), but she said, "If I don't like it I don't have to go anymore." 

She tapped for about 90 seconds before running to me and declaring that she does not like it.  We sat together and watched her lone classmate tap (for some reason 3/5ths of the class was absent).  When it was time to switch to ballet slippers she would have nothing to do with it.  I finally just gave up and left.  Maybe I would've pushed a little harder if we weren't going to pick a friend up at the airport, but whatever.

What's going to happen next week?  I'm pretty sure there will be more fits, so how hard should I push my 3-year-old to participate in a dance class that she suddenly dislikes?  And how difficult is it to get vomit out of a tutu?


  1. We had the same dance issue with Jessie so we told her she had to finish what she started and then didn't have to sign-up for the next season. Maybe you could list the number of days until the recital and she could cross them off and count the days down until no more dance. For us the issue wasn't, "You MUST dance" but rather, " You MUST finish what you started".

  2. I did have the discussion with her about not quitting because something is hard, but I'm not sure that she really understood. We're going to see how it goes this week and then I guess make some decision about continuing. We've been at this studio forever (with Lorelei) so hopefully I can just get a credit for what I've paid and transfer it to Lorelei.

  3. I'm all for the "finish what you start" idea, but I think it's lost on a child Violet's age. What does a 3-year-old understand about commitment & following through? I think it's too young for her to really get it. If it's making her unhappy, I say quit. She'll be ready for it when she's older, or not.